Fathers' Day Letter to Daniel

Father’s Day 2011

Dear Daniel:

I just thought I’d write you a Father’s Day letter…a father to son letter. Maybe someday you’ll find this to read.  You’re actually getting very close to being able to read yourself…you’re starting to recognize letters in words and even recognizing whole words! 

You are a great kid, and we’re all very fortunate that you are such a happy-go-lucky little boy.  You’re always laughing or thinking or talking, but you never seem upset or angry.  Some of that is just your personality, and some of that is the good job your mom and grandparents are doing.  It makes my being a part-time dad easier and it makes me worry less about you.

I hope someday you know that you mean the world to me, and I work very hard to make sure you’re taken care of and that you’re provided for.  In my mind, the most important thing I can provide, besides the obvious love and caring, is consistency and stability.  I am very conscious of the fact that we spend time together once a month, and I do my best to make sure I am there every month so there isn’t any extra time that goes by without us being together.  This past winter, when I had to postpone my trip two weekends in a row, I think I took it harder than you did.  

The routines we have are very important too…our bath routine, our breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack routines, and when I read books to you before going to bed.  In addition, the things we do together are things that we share that you can equate with me:  throwing rocks in the water, looking for trains and going to the train museum, our little songs and goofy words, and watching monster trucks. 

Your mom and I talk a lot too about you, and it’s great that you’re able to talk a little on the phone too.  Your mom says that you light up a room and once you get past being shy, you like to make people laugh!   She tells me about how well you behave at day care, and she tells me the things you remember about our times together, and that to me is a confirmation that everything is going well with you.  I love when I teach you something, and later I can tell you remember it.  I love when I can see you're learning things even when I'm not the one teaching!

I know this isn’t the ideal situation for a little boy, but the way you turned out so far, I couldn’t ask for anything more.  And this situation has taught me some important things too, about how to only worry about the things I have control over, and not to obsess over the things I can’t control.  This has taught me to appreciate the good moments and focus on the times we do spend together, and not to dwell about the times where I’m here (in NY) and you’re in PA.  This has made me realize that there are some sons and daddies who don’t see each other for much longer than once a month, so it’s important to do what we can.  And finally, this has taught me to be flexible and to keep as many options open as needed, and to not close off anything for the sake of closing them off.  Because if you need me for a specific reason, I have to be there, and if I have to drop everything, then I have to be ready to, like I had to do last month when your mom had to go away for a week to take care of her family.

I hope that life for you continues to be as easy as you make it seem to be for you…happy-go-lucky!

Love,

Daddy