A Winter Storm (Creatively Speaking)

I had a long trip ahead of me.

It was night, and the moon was high and bright in the sky,

shining my way ahead.

I was on a highway in the middle of nowhere,

I suppose I was headed somewhere,

but at that particular moment I didn’t care.

I was following the lines,

staying within the lines,

rolling along. 

The night skies began to darken,

as heavy ominous clouds poured in from my left.

They blocked the light from the moon,

and the stars,

and descended upon the earth,

smothering everything with their threatening shapes.

Then fell a snowflake,

a single snowflake,

and landed gently on my windshield.

Peacefully.  Quletly.

And then it melted away.

Then a second snowflake fell, and a third, and another,

and another and another two three five until I lost count.

At first gently falling,

but soon they started falling at a faster rate,

and I had to turn on my windshield wipers.

Then the winds started blowing.

At first there was a gust,

then a second one,

but soon enough the winds started

to howl and scream and

scatter everything in its path,

snowflakes and twigs and ice pellets,

throwing everything up in the air

tossing it around,

all the while screaming at the top of its lungs.

And soon I noticed that the lines I was following,

the lines I was staying within,

were no longer there.

Gone.

hidden under a blanket of those once-innocent snowflakes,

which had joined together to cover everything under it’s blanket.

I turned my windshield wipers on high.

Swish swish swish swish swish

back and forth and back and forth,

furiously fast but not keeping up.

I was blinded.

Blinded in a dark shade of white.

The wind screaming in my ear

(SCREAMING!!!)

Ice pellets were attacking my car,

like hundreds of bullets, non-stop,

endlessly,

no lines to follow

(was I even still on a road)

(where am I?  and where am I headed?)

And then I lost control

(literally and figuratively)

I gripped the steering wheel

tighter than I could ever remember gripping anything before

tighter and tighter until my knuckles were as white as

the blanket of snow that covered everything

and blinded me.

I was blinded.

I couldn’t see.

I couldn’t hear.

The wind was screaming.

(And was I screaming as well?)

The snow was blowing in all directions.

I was sliding in all directions.

The clouds were getting lower.

The snow was getting higher.

The sky was getting darker.

The snow was getting brighter.

Was I losing my mind?

I was already losing control.

And then…

…everything came to a stop.

My car.

The snow.

The wind.

I turned off my windshield wipers.

I turned off my car. 

There I stood.  In complete silence.

Eerie silence.

It seemed as if the whole world had come to a stop.

There were no sounds at all.

The blanket of snow covered everything,

and muted everything,

in a strange and odd sense of peace.

The clouds rolled away.

The moon came back out,

it’s light reflecting off of the newly fallen blanket.

And I stood there.  In complete silence.

Peaceful silence.

And then fell a snowflake,

a single snowflake,

and landed gently on my shoulder.

Peacefully.  Quletly.

And then it melted away.

Peacefully.

Reflections On The End Of A Journey

(suggested music pairing: Free, Stevie Wonder)

Every road trip, every journey, must come to an end at some point.

I’m not sure where this is going to go or how this is going to come out, as this is a touchy subject. Death. Passing on. But it’s something we all will face from time to time with our loved ones, and eventually ourselves.  To be honest, as I’m writing this, it’s entirely possible that I won’t post this.  There may be some healing and some introspection here. I am very fortunate to have been “adopted” by the family of one of my closest friends from college, and the dad, my “second dad” passed away last week after a year-plus-long fight with cancer. He was only 61. This past summer, I had an Uncle pass away also of cancer, and he was only 59 (I believe).  

I have a view about death that is probably rare. I find that, in most cases, that when I’m faced with the death of someone I know, I have positive feelings about it. When I say positive, I don’t mean happy, as of course there is a sadness and a finality when a loved one passes away, and there is an empty space left behind that could not be possibly filled. But I truly believe that when we have achieved our purpose in life, when we have touched the lives that we are intended to touch, that death is our ride into the sunset. 

I’ve had a lot of experience in dealing with death, especially at a young age. I don’t know if my experiences are a lot in comparison to some sort of average, but it seems like a lot to me.  When I was eight years old, friends of my parents had a four-year-old boy who was the brother I didn’t have at that time. He was tragically killed in a story that I will post at another time. When I was eleven, my grandfather, who was a very frequent part of my life, passed away. I ended up being a pallbearer at that funeral, which in hindsight had a very profound effect on me, but I think I struggled with that for a few years. I’ve been a pallbearer three other times, including this week, and there is something sobering and surreal about that experience.  

I guess my experiences, and my realistic nature realizes that death is inevitable. We all have a finite amount of time on this planet, and there is nothing we can do to permanently avoid that.  There are things we can do to extend our time as much as possible, but none of us knows when our time will be up, just that someday that day will come.

But I look at life, at least I try to look at life, as something to be celebrated as much as possible. I don’t plan my posts here ahead of time, but the concept of cherishing every moment of life is a running theme on this road trip called my blog, as I explore the side roads and small towns of the road trip of life. And I do believe that each of us has a specific and unique combination of gifts, talents, and personality, that we all have a specific place in the connected lives of our circles. We all bring something different to the table, and what we bring has an impact and an influence on those around us. And that needs to be celebrated. Often. And our lives are spent, at times consciously but most times subconsciously, refining and improving and repairing the gift that is ourselves. Living and learning through experiences, mistakes, and triumphs, giving and receiving, getting hurt and recovering, loving and being loved, is all part of the travels we take, the souvenirs we collect, and the pictures we leave behind. 

And so when someone passes (and I believe I will be this way when I get to my day), I tend to look back at the legacy of that person, what they brought to this world and the impacts they had on the lives around them. And I find that inevitably, that is something to be celebrated.  Of course there should be some mourning as well, but once the pain of the loss is gone, the legacy of what we bring, the legacy of our purpose, is what lives on infinitely. So, without getting into a religious context, though our lives are finite, and we have a collection of moments that we call life, where this an end, what I believe life should be about, is building, and celebrating, our own personal legacy that will live on beyond the time we have.  

And, as death is the confirmation that our travels have been completed, and that our purpose has been fulfilled, our legacy can live on.  

For as one road ends, another road always begins...

:)

A Shadow Of My Former Self

Today is the one-year anniversary of my joining Weight Watchers, and I’m proud to say that in that year, I have lost 41 pounds. SO…I thought I’d take a look back at the past year and share some observations.  

Note:  I am not a paid spokesperson. :)  But for more info:

http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx

Two quick points:  first…the because I work in a big enough building, Weight Watchers has a coordinator that comes to the office on Tuesdays at lunchtime, which makes it VERY convenient to go, and removes the excuses for not going. The coordinator (Michelle) is very good, very motivating, and very compassionate with everyone. Second…Weight Watchers in general, and Michelle specifically, is very adamant about the fact that this is NOT a diet, but instead is a lifestyle change. With that in mind, the program is set up to allow some flexibility.  

In Celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

I'm going to step aside and let Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's words speak for themselves...but instead of quoting his infamous "I Have A Dream Speech", I found a lesser-known one.  This speech was given on April 26, 1967, to Glenville High School, Cleveland OH.  I found this doing a simple Google search which found this speech on blog.Cleveland.com.  

The one thing I will do here, though, is this:  I am going to bold certain lines and quotes that speak out to me. 

This is long, but I hope this serves as inspiration...

__________

How very delighted I am to be here this morning and to have the great privilege and opportunity of sharing with you and being with you here in the city of Cleveland. I never feel like a stranger when I come to Cleveland because I have so many dear friends here in the ministry and in the community and so I always look forward to coming to Cleveland with great and eager anticipation. I certainly want to thank the administration for the opportunity and I want to thank Miss Williams for those very kind words of introduction.

As she was introducing me, I felt something like the old maid who had never been married. And one day she went to work and the lady for whom she worked said, "Ann, I hear you're getting married."

She said, "No, I'm not getting married, but thank God for the rumor."

As I listened to Miss Williams, I said to myself, "All of these wonderful things that she said about me can't be true, but thank God for the rumor."

Post # 91

What should I post about tonight?  Hmmm...let's see...what's coming up in 2012?  The Presidential Election?  Nah.  The Summer Olympics?  Not yet.  (Really, I don't get into the Olympics too much...the commentary ruins it for me, but I'll save that for later.)  The end of the world?  Already posted about that last May when the world was originally supposed to end.  Except that was, like, the 96th time it was supposed to end.  So, call me a skeptic.  My 40th BD?  We'll save that too.   I have a lot of friends in the Class of '92 - this year is your 20th REUNION!!!  What?  Take away a couple of those exclamation points?  OK. 

How about the latest news?  Tim Tebow?  Can't do it.  Playoffs?  Playoffs?  Our lack of winter, and how it might be related to global warming?  Or would I just get annoyed about all of the misconceptions surrounding that topic.  I'll skip that too.

Year-end close?  The latest riveting Accounting topics?  Updates on FASBs and the potential changes in Lease Accounting guidelines?  Hello?  Anyone there?  WAKE UP!!  Sorry...won't go down that road.  Ever.  I promise.  And THAT is a promise you can believe in.  Unlike any of these so-called candidates.  The only thing candid about them is how much in campaign funding they are trying to raise. 

Maybe if they invented electric books 30 years ago, we wouldn't have had to endure the weekly 30-minute sleep fests called Sustained Silent Reading.  Or the Reading Is Fundamental campaign.  Ooops...we were too busy playing outside to read.  Now that kids are all inside reading, we want them outside.  OK, that's not really valid...I know, kids really aren't inside reading.  But I don't want to rant about kids and video games and blah blah blah.

What happened to all those people who were going to boycott the NFL because of the strike?  Or even the NBA?  And speaking boycotts and protests, are we all unoccupied now?  Soon to be re-occupied?

How many times have you written a check this year and wrote 2011 on it?  How many people write checks anymore?  How many places still accept checks?  Doesn't getting stuck behind someone in line writing a check seem to take FOREVER?  How many resolutions have been broken?  I've only written one check.  For rent.  And I correctly wrote 2012 on it.  But (and totally seriously), I forgot to sign it.  I got a call the next day.  They must have been laughing all the way to the bank.  AFTER I signed it, that is.  Must be getting close to 40.  Over the hill, as they say.  And I really have no excuse...not much has been happening lately.  In fact, ain't nothing going on but the rent.

What other milestones?  I'm nearing my 100th post and my 40th pound of weight loss in one year.  Has anyone ever seen an actual milestone?  I think I know where one is, I should find it and take a pic.  That will be a milestone worth achieving - finding a milestone.  

I still can't quite come up with a good post idea...

...but this does count as post # 91.  So there.  :) 

A Typical Winter Day In My Life In Rochester

(...this was originally written January 17th, 2011...)

[Steps outside]

[Talks to self] "Good morning Wind...yes, I know you're here again, stinging my face. Yes, I know you won last week, even though I covered all of my face except my eyes, you still made them tear up, and made my nose run. So go ahead, blast my face with your little ice shards. See if I care." 

[Starts walking toward car - crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch...]

[Reaches into pocket with gloved hand, grabs keys, and...…says out loud] "Crap!” (…accidentally dropped keys into the snow)

[Talks to self again] "Where could they have...maybe if I step lightly here...no here...no,

[crunch] OK, there they are."

[Sticks car keys into the lock and...tries...to…to……says out loud again] "Crap!" (…realizes lock is frozen)

[Now starts to walk over the passenger side of car - crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch...]

[Takes glove off in order to not drop the keys again, puts in glove in mouth, puts key the passenger lock and tries...to...turn……the key turns.]

[Says to self] "YES!"

[Now grabs the car handle and……says out loud again] CRPH! (…hand slipped off door handle.) (By the way, that’s "crap!" muffled by the glove inserted in mouth) 

[Mumbles to self since door is frozen] "After all this practice you think I'd've mastered the art of pulling up and backwards at the same time” [Smack!] (…hand slipped off the door handle again and punches gloved mouth. which fortunately acted as a mouth guard.)

[Mumbles to self again] "OK, try again...pull!” [Crack] “...success!!! Of course, now there's snow on my seat, so let's sit in it so I feel like I have a cold wet diaper. Great. Just great."

[…and with cold wet diaper-like ass slides over to the driver side and pushes... pushes...the driver's side door open]

[Again mumbles to self while starting car] "OK baby, start up start up start up come on come on come on come on...SUCCESS!!"

[Now OCD kicks in. Makes sure all four car locks are unlocked order to get out of the car, so I can brush the snow off of the car. Then opens door and....…grumbles] "Oh, it's you, again, Wind. I see you haven't gone away."

[Now starts an almost useless fight consisting of:  brush snow off. Wind blows it back on. Repeat, but at random intervals the wind changes direction to blow the snow into my face instead of back onto the car.]

[Eventually decides to give up, gets back inside car where the "heater" is still blasting cold air...but at least it not as cold as outside.]

[Puts car in drive...taps the gas...wheels spin.]

[Taps gas again. Wheels spin again.]

[Floors the gas. Speedometer reads 25 mph and car finally moves forward two feet.]

[Says out loud:] “Woo hoo! Now I'm cooking with gas!”

[Approaches end of driveway...taps on the brakes...wait, I'm not stopping...I'm going faster...faster...and right into and then across the street.]

[Says to self:] "OK, forget stopping then!"

[Turns on windshield wipers.  Wipers smear ice across windshield.]

[Says out loud yet again:] "Crap!"

[Sprays windshield wiper fluid...forms blue ice on windshield.]

[Says out loud yet again:] "Crap!" 

(…seeing a pattern yet?)

[Windshield wipers are now frozen solid onto windshield.]

[Says to self:] "Looks like my face and Mr. Wind will be facing each other again...if only...I could roll down...the window. Ugh. What the...? Never mind.”

[Now steers the car to the left, and……car does a complete 180.  I think to myself.] "Hmph. Forget this!”

[Since I'm still only facing the front door of house - yes that all the progress that was made - decides to leave car on other side of the street to call it a day.]

[Puts the car in park, opens door, steps out......slips and does a perfect face-plant in the snow.]

[Says out loud, one last time, out loud] ”CRAP!"

Daytime TV

...this is just a light-hearted post to start off 2012...

10 Things I've Learned Watching Daytime TV On My Day Off 

1. If I'm in need of money, there are many places I can turn, especially if I have a clear title.  The Native Americans are very willing to help, though their money is kind of expensive.
2. People with diabetes should check their blood sugar and check it often.  Why?  Because there's no excuse not to.
3. A brighter future is just a phone call away!
4. If I am ever injured in an accident of any kind, I am entitled to be compensated for my pain and suffering.  
5. If I am ever in a car accident, I may have as little as 10 days to file the appropriate paperwork.
6. If I ever loan a friend money, I'd better get the payment schedule in writing and have it signed.  Otherwise, it will probably end up as a "gift".
7. Even the toughest court case can be solved in less than a half-hour.  With commercials.
8. I'm embarassed and ashamed for Wayne Brady.  But he is probably getting paid more than I am.
9. Montel Williams has just about cured his MS - thanks to a power blender (the Health Master).
10. Montel Williams must also owe his psychic friend a lot of money...15 minutes of his one-hour Health Master infomercial was devoted to her psych ic predictions...that had nothing to do with food or food processing. 

10 Daytime TV Personalities I Miss (in no particular order)

1. Richard Bey
2. Billy Mays
3. The Krass Brothers
4. Rod Roddy
5. Monty Hall (see Wayne Brady)
6. Judge Mills Lane ("Let's get it on!")
7. Rusty The Bailiff
8. The original Whammy
9. Steadman Graham
10. Gerry Robbins, with that diamond in his beard

My 10 Favorite TV Lawyers (again, in no particular order)

1. Alan Rothenberg, THE Injury Lawyer, who's number was 1-800-LAW-KING <Phila>
2. Rand Spear <Phila>
3. Edgar Snyder <Pittsburgh>
4. Cellino & Barnes (Forehead & Brows) <Rochester>
5. William Mattar (Hurt In A Car, Call William Matter) <Rochester>
6. Krasno, Krasno, & Onwudinjo <Phila>
7. Johnnie Cochran (yes, I'm calling him a TV lawyer)
8. Alexander & Cattalano (The Heavy Hitters) <Rochester>
9. Roni Lynn Deutsch <national>
10. the beaded guy from Tax Masters

And finally...

I don't think I could ever get enough of Maury Povich's lie detector and paternity DNA tests!  He has totally cornered this market, and there's a never-ending supply of subjects.  The level of humanity and they way they conduct themselves is...priceless.  This is my guilty pleasure...trashy, but I can't help it!

(It's probably a good thing I go back to work tomorrow...!)