Metaphorically Photogenic

“A picture is worth a thousand words.” - unknown

Photography, at least in the way I would describe my interest in it, is:  the art of capturing life in specific, single images; freezing a single moment in time and preserving that moment to be shared to various audiences. 

But there is so more to a photo, and photography, than the art of a series of frozen single moments. 

Photography for me has been a hobby since I was in my teens. Over the years, I “dabbled” in film photography but financially, I wasn’t able to really develop this hobby, until digital photography took a serious hold on society. The ability of learning by “trial-and-error” was made much easier when I was able to just delete “not-so-good” shots, instead of “wasting film”. I’ve never taken a photography class, either at a college level or at a community level, but as I started taking more pictures, I’ve purchased a few how-to books which have definitely helped me learn different techniques and “things I can do to get the results that I picture in my mind.” So, my explanations below are at best somewhat technically inaccurate. SPOILER ALERT:  I’m headed towards a bigger point than a high-level photography lesson.

Driving In New York City

I’ve driven in New York City – specifically Manhattan – four times, all between 1996 and 2006, all as a tourist. It is, by far, an experience all to itself. It’s not for the faint at heart; to me driving in NYC is about 95% immediate instinct and 5% luck – or maybe vice versa. With all of the traffic - cars, buses, taxis, people, and bikes – hundreds and seemingly thousands of them, all trying to get somewhere as fast as possible and even sooner, impatiently, it’s a ton of input to take in, in the various split seconds you need to make a decisions. Where do I need to turn? Three blocks ahead, I mean two? I can’t turn left here? Now what? Three rights? I can see the building I want to get to but I’ve been in this car for 45 minutes now, going the wrong way and then the right way, closer and then not closer, and then…

…GRIDLOCK. The worst experience in my opinion, if you take out accidents (which I did not have any) and near misses (which I’ve had a few), is gridlock. When you’re sitting in your car, totally surrounded by all of the above, and nothing is moving. Nothing. Stopped. Standing still. Not even a hint at movement. And there’s nothing that can be done except to wait. And wait. And wait for something to happen, something to free up somewhere so traffic can start flowing again, so I can get to where I want to go.

WELL…that’s where my blog has been. Mental gridlock. There are several places I want to go. I’ve started down a couple of streets already. But…I’m stuck. Trapped. Surrounded by hundreds of competing thoughts all trying to get to where they want to go first. For all of my road rage tendencies, one area where I don’t suffer from road rage is being stuck in traffic. It’s inevitable. It is what it is. (You may have seen me write this before.) So no, I don’t have blog rage either. (Although, I’d hate to see what would happen if I did suffer from blog rage.) But I haven’t gotten out of the car yet. I have no plans to abandon it in the middle of the street, to walk aimlessly towards my next stop.  

I’m just sitting in my car. My mental car. Blaring music. Probably making a fool of myself singing along, loudly, way off-key, doing some steering wheel drumming and playing air guitar in the driver’s seat. Waiting for something to happen, something to free up somewhere so traffic can start flowing again, so I can get to where I want to go. Waiting…

Waiting…

One Man's Trip Around The Corporate World

This is a timeline (a road map) of my career, in a nutshell.  A round, circular nutshell.

• 8/1994:  graduated college
• 9/1994-3/1997:  just a blur, did it really happen, or was it just a dream?  A bad, bad dream?
• 4/1997:  hired at “Company A”
• 5/1997-4/1998:  Company A;  “This is how we do things here, we find it to be successful, hopefully you can understand and blah blah blah…”
• 5/1998:  Company B buys Company A
• 6/1998-12/2002:  Company B; “You’re the experts, we’re going to sit back and let you do things your way.  We’re going to stay out of the way and let you do your thing.”
• 1/2003-8/2005:  Company B;  “No, no, you’re doing it all wrong.  We can’t have this anymore.  From now on, we’re going to do things OUR way.”
• 9/2005-10/2006:  Company B;  “No, no, you’re still not doing it right, we’re going to have to close up shop.  You can move up here if you want to.”
• 11/2006:  Company B: “Well, we need you to move up here.  But we’re still going to do things our way.”
• 12/2006-1/2010:  Company B “See, our way is working, right?  Right?”
• 2/2010:  Company B buys Company C.
• 3/2010-3/2012:  Company B, to Company C;  “You’re the experts, we’re going to sit back and let you do things your way.  We’re going to stay out of the way and let you do your thing.”
• 4/2012: Company B, to Company C;  “We’re going to let you take over the remnants of Company A, now that it's almost totally dismantled.  You’re the experts, we’re going to sit back and let you do things your way.  We’re going to stay out of the way and let you do your thing.”
• TODAY:  Me, in thought, in listening to how Company C does things; “Man, this sounds familiar.  Really familiar.  Where did…oh?  Oh??  We’re going back to the way things were done in 1998?”

All companies appearing in this work are real. Very real.  Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely intentional.

Exit 40

40.  A nice, round, even number, and in terms of an age, it’s one of the “big moments in life.”  To some, it’s an imposing number. I tried to joke my way through it at times with my “it’s just a number between 39 and 41” comment. Matter-of-factly. “Move along, nothing to see here.” 

OK, not so much.

In the end, it is a big milestone. Society has deemed it so, and there are enough questions and comments that come along with turning 40 that, at least for me, I had to devote some thought to it. What does this mean? Where am I?

Where am I? 

On this path called life, where am I?  

First, the question I refuse to answer is, where am I compared to (someone else’s) definition of where I should be at 40? The only exception to that are the people who I seek out to hear their point of view. People who I trust, who I believe will give a thoughtful answer, who know me and I know care. 

The questions that I DID think about are:  where have I come from, and where am I headed? Am I at a crossroads, or just a rest area to continue westbound? Have I left anything behind? Do I need anything going forward? Am I lost? Is my GPS functioning?  Am I where I’m supposed to be?

Am I? Am I where I’m supposed to be (figuratively)?

OK, maybe that really is THE question. If I am where I’m supposed to be, then how do I stay here? How long do I maintain it?  If I am not where I’m supposed to be, how do I get there? Which way do I turn?  

I’ve typed “I” a lot. And there’s a point to be made there. All of these questions, I’ve asked myself, of myself. The answers to these questions have to come from me, and have to resonate within me. And as life rolls on and time moves forward, and 40 becomes my 40s, all of my questions and my use of “I” lead not to answers, but to a bigger question:

Am I being true to myself?

We all bring something unique to the worlds we’re in, and we all have trials and tribulations, successes and mistakes, detours and straightaways, ups and downs, clear sailing and fog, but in the end, we cannot lose ourselves.  

40 – A celebration by me, of me, for me. For all the good that I’ve done and all of the bad I’ve survived; for all the good I have left to do and all of the bad that I’ll have to navigate through.

And my wish for all, no matter where you are in life, no matter how old or young, is this:  that we all value ourselves, so that we remain true to ourselves and achieve the purpose we each bring to the world we’re all a part of.

Onward I go…