Any Given Wednesday. Or Monday. Or Thursday, Tuesday, or Friday.

Wake up get up gotta lot to do today jump in the shower make a mental list already behind let’s go get dressed three texts already two phone calls and a meeting at 8:30AM hop in the car can’t wait for it to warm up hit the gas run the yellow light it was yellow right hurry hurry don’t have time to see the sun is shining but here come the clouds crud I forgot my umbrella no wait I don’t own one now here’s a red light.

Breathe.

Flip the radio dial commercial flip commercial flip news blah blah green pick up the phone listen to messages now wait here’s a cop gotta hide the phone don’t have time or patience or the money for a ticket why is that a law anyway I’ll never get into an accident not me, I can drive and talk and tune the radio and eat and work out today’s schedule in my mind and a left here and almost hit someone didn’t they see me coming and a right there and I’m at work.

Breathe.

Get out of the car do I have my iPod my phone my keys my laptop my wallet my frozen lunch good take three steps check my pockets again, yes I have everything, keep walking fast but not so fast I lose my breath no time to breathe no time to hold the door open for anyone else (and at least I don’t own a Bluetooth or else I’d be talking on the phone, and I’ve thought about walking and typing at the same time) flash my badge hit the elevator walk out go to my desk unpack my laptop take off my coat put my keys and cell phone in my desk and plug in my iPod, turn on computer, feed the fish…

…look, he’s swimming as fast as I was walking…

…check my work voice mails when did the sun go away turn on my desk light why isn’t the logon screen up yet stupid technology I have 27 things to do and 3 people waiting and ah, here it is type in password crap too fast type it in again crap too fast again last chance let’s slow down and…

…d e l I b e r a t e l y    t y p e    I n    e a c h    l e t t e r    o f    m y    p a s s w o r d    a n d . . . .

…ok it worked whew now launch all of my programs and get started and blah blah blah click click ciick talk talk talk switch and double back and react and react and react and wish I could proact and what a day what time is it?

8:54.

Type with the right hand, listen with the left ear, look up and keep your nose down.

Yes, I can do that.  No, I can’t do this.  Gotta check when them.  They are waiting for me.  Can i?  Should I?  Will you?  We have plans and goals and metrics and measures and schedules and deadlines and facts and assumptions and factors and actions and theories and realities and you have roadblocks and approvals and backlogs and lead times and now my e-mail has crashed and my computer is downloading patches and data and uploading figures and information and blocking and retrieving and scanning and sure, I can stop by right after I take a bio break so quick run down the hall and…

…breathe.  While peeing.  And yes, wash my hands…

…because there’s no time for sickness you think I’m behind now?  Just think if I were bed bound for 3 days wouldn’t that be nice but no time for wishing and dreaming and really how crazy is it to wish I was sick but I’m not so let’s meet and talk and discuss and strategize and come up with some actionable actions and some tasks to multi-task and more e-mails – lots more e-mails – e-mails followed immediately by phone calls and messages to say that I sent an e-mail and here’s what it said and if you could call back and write back I’d appreciate it but now I have to send an e-mail that I sent the e-mail and then walk over to see if you got the e-mail that I sent the e-mail but I’m telling you that I forgot to tell you in the e-mail that I left them a message that I sent them a message and man I’m getting forgetful, holy crap I’m the ripe old age of 39 and I’m hungry, don’t know why I really haven’t done anything today yet but I’m tired yet is it 5:00?

No.  11:23. 

Yes, I can do that.  No, I can’t do this.  Gotta check when them.  They are waiting for me.  Can i?  Should I?  Will you?  We have plans and goals and metrics and measures and schedules and deadlines and facts and assumptions and factors and actions and theories and realities and you have roadblocks and approvals and backlogs and lead times and now my e-mail has crashed and my computer is downloading patches and data and uploading figures and information and blocking and retrieving and scanning and sure, I can stop by right after I cram my frozen lunch down my throat and spill some microwaved gravy into my keyboard, crap, now the S key is going to be sluggissssh and I’ve only taken two breathssssss today and let’s pausssse and look at my fisssssssh and he’ssss jussssst sssssitting there not even ssssswimming and let’sssss  get the computer dusssster and ssssspray out that now congealed gravy and look at all the dusssst and crumbssss and other sssssstuff that came out of there.  Grosssssssssss.  Tap the s key 36 times s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s.  did it work?  Yes.  Good.  Now…

Breathe.

(rinse and repeat until 5:15.  I’m in a rush to post this otherwise I’d type more.)

Do I have my iPod my phone my keys my laptop my wallet good take three steps check my pockets again, yes I have everything, keep walking fast but not so fast I lose my breath no time to breathe and then hop in the car can’t wait for it to warm up hit the gas run the yellow light it was yellow right hurry hurry don’t have time to see the sun is setting and again here’s a red light.

Breathe.

Flip the radio dial commercial flip commercial flip news blah blah green pick up the phone listen to messages now wait here’s a cop gotta hide the phone don’t have time or patience or the money for a ticket why is that a law anyway I’ll never get into an accident not me, I can drive and talk and tune the radio and eat and decide what frozen dinner I’m gonna eat and who I’m gonna talk to on FB and no I’m not going to play any games and I’m home.

Breathe.

Get out of the car do I have my iPod my phone my keys my laptop my wallet no time to get the mail gotta eat take three steps check my pockets again, yes I have everything, keep walking fast but not so fast I lose my breath no time to breathe change clothes cook dinner eat it tonight I’m going to ignore the phone but I have the computer and my iPod and the TV all on at the same time receiving stimuli from 16 different places any my remote clicker finger is on auto pilot flipping channels… nothing… nothing… crap… garbage… trash… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click… click…

(and so on, you get the idea - I hope)

Crap!  It’s 11:16 time for bed gotta brush my teeth is the door locked is the oven off of course it is I didn’t use it jump into bed and let’s to sleep right now.

Now.

Now!

NOW!

Really, now.

What?  You mean my brain can’t stop on a dime?

_____________

Honestly, I exaggerated that to make a point.  We need to slow down, y’all.  Slow down before we break down, fall down, crash down.  Before we check out, burn out, zone out, or act out.  Too much is happening too fast and we owe it to ourselves, our loved ones, and those around us to take a break and take care of ourselves periodically.  We weren’t meant to be this way...

:)