Loyalty

Loyalty is something I've been thinking about lately. I posted the following quote to Facebook the other day:

“Forgiving unforgivable things is real forgiveness.Loving unlovable things is real love.

Seeing someone’s inner most monster
and choosing to stay is true loyalty.

(It’s not something everyone can do)”
― Cody Edward Lee Miller

It's a quote that spoke to me, in thinking about the perseverance and conviction and dedication it takes to be loyal at that level; something I think I am very good at.
 
But the first comment I received took this in a different direction. To paraphrase, the comment, from a good and deep-thinking friend of mine, pointed out that to be careful of the difference between loyalty and self-sacrifice, and used domestic violence as an example of that. Then a second friend shared a thought about an even darker situation which I won't reveal.

But it's a good point...loyalty is something that, though I believe is an ideal trait to have, does have it's limitations in certain scenarios. Specific to the above, loyalty is dependent on the definition of the term "monster". If using the term "monster" in the context brought by those two comments, then yes, loyalty is not good, but in fact harmful. But if using the term "monster" in the context of someone's inner struggles, or inner darkness, then that plays itself out differently. In those cases, loyalty may be a lifeline in the most extreme circumstances.

Where does one draw the line between when loyalty is a positive attribute, versus a harmful one? The short answer is that is highly dependent on each specific situation. I'm not sure if there is a single blanket statement that can be made, generic enough, to cover the pros and cons of loyalty, outside of a few extreme cases.

But isn't that really true about most things? That blanket statements are really hard to create accurately? That blanket statements really don't apply well in reality? And isn't that one of the areas where our society is suffering right now; this seemingly constant need to boil a subject or topic down to a small handful of short, blanket statements; to then justify resting judgments on? And then, to create belief structures or communities (in the figurative sense) based on a series of rigid blanket statements - in order to justify our behavior, or in an effort to control other's behavior, for seemingly good or bad?

But what's the opposite of a blanket statement?

Balance.

Everything in balance. Nothing lies at either polar opposite extreme. The truth is somewhere towards the middle. And so is true with loyalty. Loyalty in balance. You can't be loyal to others all the time and also be loyal to yourself all the time, either; but there is a time and place for each.

Maybe if we focus on what is right in each situation; analyze it for what it is; and then act accordingly, a lot of things will work themselves out for the better.