Pressure

(suggested background music pairing:  Pressure, Billy Joel)

There is a lot of pressure out there in the world:  the pressure of makings meet, of work, or finding work; the pressure of doing the right thing, of not ending up in the wrong situation; the pressure of friends and family and strife and struggles, of health and maintenance, tire pressure, air pressure, pressure cooking. OK…poor attempt at humor. But with all of this pressure we’re under, I have one question:

Why do we add pressure to ourselves?

For example, today ended up being a nice day weather-wise; the weatherman said we’re under the influence of high pressure. So, I decided, as I usually do, to take advantage and do something outside. However, nothing sounded good to me. So I started thinking of different ideas of things to do, and eventually I felt the pressure of coming up with something, as to not waste the day. WHY? If I needed to waste the day away, what is so wrong with that? And we pressure ourselves in so many different ways; whether we feel we should be at a certain status in life, or we should accomplish something by the time we’re 40 (or 30 or 50); whether we should act a certain way or feel a certain way. And it is true that there are some things and needs that are basic requirements, but hopefully those things don’t add pressure. Such as, we should not do anything to get arrested. Or we should not walk into work and drop f-bombs at the first person that annoys us.  But beyond that, with all the pressures of life which we have no choice but to deal with, why would we add more?

Which brings me to the bigger question:  why can’t we just be? To me, it seems like a lot of the pressures we add to ourselves is an exercise in comparison. We compare ourselves against some outside barometer and measure ourselves against some outside gauge, and then when we don’t meet that outside standard, we’ve added pressure.  What’s wrong with “wasting” a perfectly nice day by doing nothing? If it’s what I need at that particular time, is that a "waste"? If I drive a car that is missing half its paint in random places, but it is very reliable, gets good gas mileage, with no car payment and with no major repair bills, why should I feel pressured that it looks out of place?  

If we’re not careful, then we start to lose ourselves underneath all the pressure. We stop being ourselves and start being someone else defined by all of the outside measurements and definitions that we allow to change us.  I’ve posted before about the whole concept of “acting black,” and that is another example of this concept.  If I let the pressure of being different get to me, that would then cause me to act in a different way, and before long, I’m not the me I am today. I kinda like this me.  

I don’t need any more pressure - there’s plenty to go around. Maybe I’ll do myself a favor and stop putting pressure on myself. There’s enough pressure in trying to determine how much, and which, of the pressure others put on us should be ignored…