The Rooster And The Rat: Rochester's Cold Case Archives (Part 3)

This is the last of three newspaper articles chronicling one of the great unsolved cold cases in Rochester history... 

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Rooster Found In Michigan – Cleared of Any 

Wrong-doing In Kidnapping

Police Baffled, “Back To Square One”

BATTLE CREEK, MI. (8/13/10):  In yet another amazing turn of events, The Rooster once thought to be the animal behind the recent kidnapping of the Rat, was located in Michigan and has been deemed innocent.  Authorities are now returning to the original crime scene to re-start the investigation  

 “I received a frantic phone call overnight Tuesday night from my cousin Cornelius, who most people know ‘that Corn Flakes rooster.’ He heard a rumor that Kellogg’s was gonna ‘get rid of him’ because they need a new, hip logo.  Well, that really ruffled my feathers!” said the Rooster, who then called his brother.  “My brother Blackie, who lives in Parma, we needed to get away anyway. We were recently on the news on 13-WHAM for supposedly making too much noise.  I mean, really?  But I digress” he said.  He then hit the road on a quest to help his cousin Corny.  “I left a note at work and headed west.  You know, as we Roosters are up at the crack of dawn anyway!” (Editor’s Note:  the link to our sister news station 13-WHAM.com’s story: Town Wants Rooster to Stop Crowing  

The Rooster Brothers made phone calls along the way to friends, coordinating a convergence at Kellogg’s Headquarters to protest their plan to lay off Corny.  They were able to convince the infamous Foghorn Leghorn to lead the way.

“I say, uh, I say, what’s a rooster gotta do to keep a good-paying job around here?” Foghorn bellowed to this reporter.  “This is, I say, this is a clear case of bird discrimination and if it weren’t for The Rooster organizing this, well, I say, who’s gonna wake up the farmers in the morning?  A chicken hawk?  Ha!”

Unbeknownst to the Rooster, back home, his sudden absence placed him right in the spotlight of the events unfolding back home. 

Rochester Police Sergeant Beaver stated that this was compelling evidence in the Rooster’s innocence, but it was not the only factor.  “We were able to triangulate his location from late Tuesday night all the way through today due to the many cell phone calls he made in organizing this protest.  His alibi is rock solid.”

The police were able to complete DNA tests on the feathers found at the scene, and those results came back confirming those feathers did not match the Rooster’s.  Finally, the Police were able to use a new piece of technology, recently received thanks to Federal Stimulus finding. 

“We have a brand new device called the Badger 5000.  We insert a picture, and the Badger 5000 analyzes the picture for any inconsistencies, in order to verify the authenticity of any pictures presented to us as key pieces of evidence,” said Sergeant Beaver.  According to Police, the Badger 5000 was able to detect that the picture originally left at the scene was a picture of the Rooster photo- shopped onto a separate picture with the computer and its ominous note.

We believe at this time that the Rooster is completely innocent of any wrongdoing, and we thank the Rooster for his co-operation in this ongoing investigation,” Sergeant Beaver read from a prepared press release.  “We are still not giving up this investigation.  We will continue to pursue all leads with increased focus until the perpetrator or perpetrators are found and brought to justice.”

As for the Rooster, when we asked him what we would do upon his return to the Rochester area, replied, “Well, the first thing I’m gonna do is sleep in.”