Reflections On The End Of A Journey

(suggested music pairing: Free, Stevie Wonder)

Every road trip, every journey, must come to an end at some point.

I’m not sure where this is going to go or how this is going to come out, as this is a touchy subject. Death. Passing on. But it’s something we all will face from time to time with our loved ones, and eventually ourselves.  To be honest, as I’m writing this, it’s entirely possible that I won’t post this.  There may be some healing and some introspection here. I am very fortunate to have been “adopted” by the family of one of my closest friends from college, and the dad, my “second dad” passed away last week after a year-plus-long fight with cancer. He was only 61. This past summer, I had an Uncle pass away also of cancer, and he was only 59 (I believe).  

I have a view about death that is probably rare. I find that, in most cases, that when I’m faced with the death of someone I know, I have positive feelings about it. When I say positive, I don’t mean happy, as of course there is a sadness and a finality when a loved one passes away, and there is an empty space left behind that could not be possibly filled. But I truly believe that when we have achieved our purpose in life, when we have touched the lives that we are intended to touch, that death is our ride into the sunset. 

I’ve had a lot of experience in dealing with death, especially at a young age. I don’t know if my experiences are a lot in comparison to some sort of average, but it seems like a lot to me.  When I was eight years old, friends of my parents had a four-year-old boy who was the brother I didn’t have at that time. He was tragically killed in a story that I will post at another time. When I was eleven, my grandfather, who was a very frequent part of my life, passed away. I ended up being a pallbearer at that funeral, which in hindsight had a very profound effect on me, but I think I struggled with that for a few years. I’ve been a pallbearer three other times, including this week, and there is something sobering and surreal about that experience.  

I guess my experiences, and my realistic nature realizes that death is inevitable. We all have a finite amount of time on this planet, and there is nothing we can do to permanently avoid that.  There are things we can do to extend our time as much as possible, but none of us knows when our time will be up, just that someday that day will come.

But I look at life, at least I try to look at life, as something to be celebrated as much as possible. I don’t plan my posts here ahead of time, but the concept of cherishing every moment of life is a running theme on this road trip called my blog, as I explore the side roads and small towns of the road trip of life. And I do believe that each of us has a specific and unique combination of gifts, talents, and personality, that we all have a specific place in the connected lives of our circles. We all bring something different to the table, and what we bring has an impact and an influence on those around us. And that needs to be celebrated. Often. And our lives are spent, at times consciously but most times subconsciously, refining and improving and repairing the gift that is ourselves. Living and learning through experiences, mistakes, and triumphs, giving and receiving, getting hurt and recovering, loving and being loved, is all part of the travels we take, the souvenirs we collect, and the pictures we leave behind. 

And so when someone passes (and I believe I will be this way when I get to my day), I tend to look back at the legacy of that person, what they brought to this world and the impacts they had on the lives around them. And I find that inevitably, that is something to be celebrated.  Of course there should be some mourning as well, but once the pain of the loss is gone, the legacy of what we bring, the legacy of our purpose, is what lives on infinitely. So, without getting into a religious context, though our lives are finite, and we have a collection of moments that we call life, where this an end, what I believe life should be about, is building, and celebrating, our own personal legacy that will live on beyond the time we have.  

And, as death is the confirmation that our travels have been completed, and that our purpose has been fulfilled, our legacy can live on.  

For as one road ends, another road always begins...

:)