In my daily virtual roaming in the world of Facebook, a few
people have taken part in what I think is a growing tradition or trend: during the month of November, the month of
Thanksgiving, people are taking a moment each day of the month and state
something that they are thankful for. So,
without further ado:
11/1 – FAMILY. Where would I be without my family? On a very
biological note, literally nowhere. But, I have one of the best families in the
world; one of the best anyone could ask for. People have joked, maybe with some
seriousness, that my immediate family resembled the famed Cosby family in the
80’s, and honestly, I don’t think that’s far off. My immediate family has always been close,
and we’ve rarely fought. We definitely do not have any of the drama that makes
its way to the shame that is reality TV.
But we’re close even though we’re far away; spread out with me being in
Upstate New York, with my parents being in Suburban Philadelphia, with my
sister and her family in Annapolis MD, and my other sister basking in the sun and
her dreams in Hollywood. We have strong traditions, we’re accepting, and all of
that comes from the strength of my parents.
I have probably made the most and the biggest mistakes of us, and yet
their love and acceptance has been unwavering, and in the end, we all have a
need to be accepted. To have that from
my family is huge, and might be the biggest thing I'm thankful for.
Included in family is my extended family in New England and
beyond, and my second “family” in Pittsburgh. Both groups have gone through a
similar tragedy in the recent past, and in both cases, watching each family pull
together to cope and grieve and heal with each other, together, is something too
to be thankful for. Everything positive and thankful that I mentioned about my
immediate family holds true with my extended and second families too, without
exception.
11/2 – DANIEL. Wow. It seems cliché-ish to say that one can’t
put the feeling of being a father into words, but it’s true, even with me being
a part-time dad, in terms of the hands-on part of fatherhood. And I’ll be honest here: one, I never had a strong pull one way or the
other in wanting to have a kid; and two, the timing and circumstances around
Daniel was not planned.
Being five hours away from Daniel for just about all of his 5 ½
years of life has made me appreciate him in a way that I don’t think many
people can relate to. The comment I get very often, when someone finds out that
I am five hours from my son, is, “Wow, that must be hard, not to be there for every
moment.” I learned very early on, in this situation, that it’s not about the
times I don’t spend with him, but it’s about the times that I do. I’ve seen
every first: his first steps, his first
word, etc. But the difference is that the first time I saw him step, or heard
him speak, is my first, whether it his real first or not. It’s not about the times I don’t spend with
him, but it’s about the times that I do. Some people, particularly in the
military, don’t get to see their kinds for months at a time, but I get my
monthly visit. And I’m lucky, as I’ve posted before, that he has a calm, happy
personality. There isn’t the sadness that sometimes comes with a good-bye. He is happy when he sees me, but he is just
as happy to go back to his mom at the end of our visit.
Being a father is a source of validation for me – a source
of esteem, a source of achievement, even if that is sporadic. But within that, and being 5 hours away from Daniel
for just about all of his life has made me appreciate this fact more than most,
I think, is this: I see so much of my
personality in him. I find that fascinating, because he has either pulled that from
me in our limited times together, or he always has those within him. I don’t
know which one of those is more fascinating. But I am absolutely thankful.
11/3 - FRIENDS. what
can I say here that hasn’t been said before?
My friends are my everything, and sometimes that’s a double-edged sword;
but I wouldn’t change that for the world. I have a wide range of friends, with
a ton of differences, and I have taken a piece of my closest friends along with
me. As much as I am who I am because of my family, I am definitely who I am
because of my friends. I find loyalty to be important, and I am proud of the
fact that I have some very loyal friends.
My closest friends today represent every aspect of my life, from when I
was a baby; through elementary school and high school in Eastern PA; then
college in Western PA; my jobs in PA and NY and beyond; and even some met
seemingly randomly as recent as just three months ago. I feel their pain, I
celebrate their joys. They inspire me to be who I am and do what I do. My
closest friends are include writers at heart, single parents, professors,
motorheads, sports fans, music fans, family-driven, lawyers, long-distance
hikers and bikers, health care workers,
volunteers, and so on and so on. My closest friends struggle but try, laugh and
cry, work hard and play hard, and as many people know, I would do, and have done,
anything for those I consider to be my closest friends.
11/4 – CO-WORKERS. I
have been fortunate enough, throughout my entire career, to be surrounded by,
and have been in contact with, great people. My first job in high-school, at
the local supermarket, I think set the tone for this. I worked with a great set
of people of all ages, and in some ways, that group I would consider to be my
third family. The jobs I had in college, and right after college, also had that
same theme; in each place, there was a core group of good people where we
shared laughs and tragedies and a common sense of accomplishment, whether it
was getting through just a single day of work or finishing a major project.
This month is my 15th anniversary in my current
job. I could, and should, and might, do a separate post about this. I’ve had
three sets of co-workers: my
Pennsylvania co-workers from my first nine years, my New York co-workers from
the last six years, and my virtual co-workers, who have spanned all 15
years. I’ve posted before about
experiencing 9/11 with my virtual co-workers while being away from everyone
else. We’ve survived stress and pressure,
shared celebrations of co-worker’s weddings and births and mourned funerals. I’ve
met some very inspiring people, and I hope I have inspired people as well. In a
24-hour day, one typically spends 8 hours sleeping, 8 hours with co-workers,
and 8 hours for everything and everybody else, so having good, fun,
inspirational co-workers is something important to me, and I’ve been fortunate
enough to have had a long career full surrounded by great people.
In all cases, I am still friends with some of my closest
co-workers, from all the way back to the first job, to people I have met as
recently as last year.
First, technology in terms of cell phones, cell phone
cameras, computers, Skype, texting, etc., make staying in touch with family, Daniel,
friends, and co-workers so much easier. I am relatively alone from a literal
standpoint. All of my family, and
Daniel, and most of my close friends and co-workers are all far away, and yet
with technology, I am very much in touch with everyone, virtually. I’ve posted
in the past how technology sometimes take away from the quality of
relationships, and had distracted us at times, but technology has also enabled
us to stay close when used the right way. I may be alone a lot from a literal
standpoint, but I know I am not alone.
Second, technology has completely enabled me to explore my
creativity and has fueled my inspiration.
My creative writing would not be possible on a regular typewriter – I wouldn’t
have the patience for it, and there are certain aspects of my creative writing
that is made a thousand times easier using a computer program. This blog wouldn’t
exist if it weren’t for computers and the internet. A blog isn’t a blog without
an audience, and I am thankful for my audience – most of which fall in the
above groups, at least as far as I know. I don’t know how far, or not far, my audience
reaches, but just knowing there is one makes this worthwhile. My writing has
progressed from a passing interest into a full blown hobby, and a source of
internal and shared inspiration.
Without the digital camera, and some of the creative options
that comes from digital editing, my love of photography probably would not have
developed as much as it did. I’ve always been interested in photography, but it
was technology that opened the door for easy and more in-depth
exploration. Photography for me has also
progressed from a passing interest, into a full blown hobby, and a source of
internal and shared inspiration.
But for me, even bigger than writing and photography, is
music. The digitalization of music, and the ability to share music, and the invention
of MP3 players and the iPod, has taken my love for music off the charts (pun
intended). I have my iPod with me just about everywhere, and I have it playing
on average 10 hours a day. It is on at work, it is on in the car, it is on at
home. I probably listen to music more than I watch TV. Music provides for me an
escape from life, or an inspirational force, or just a good laugh and a good
time. There are songs and artists I would have never explored if it weren’t for
the accessibility that exists due to the ease of sharing MP3 files.
And as far as my creativity goes, again with the ease of
technology, I have attempted (and I believe somewhat successfully) to combine
writing, photography, and music, into my creative outlets and into my
inspiration inputs. As I’m sitting here writing right now, I have my iPod
playing in my ear. Later on in this writing process, I will go through my
collection of photos and select a few to add to this post. When I am out in the
open with my camera, looking for interesting photos to take, I always have my
iPod on, and I usually carry with me a pad of paper and a pen.
___________
I will continue to post things I am thankful for in batches
like this, versus one per day. I can’t promise that each batch will be as
inter-connected as this set, but who knows…we’ll find out throughout November…but
I encourage everyone to at least think about the things you’re thankful for. Times
are tough all over the place; there is a lot of stress and pressure and pain
and suffering out there in the circles I’m in, and I feel it. Being thankful
may not take any of that away, but hopefully create just enough of a positive
feeling to make life just a little bit brighter.
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