Misery

Misery loves company. It’s contagious, it’s overwhelming, and it can take over like a fog, like a deep, dark, blinding fog. And there’s a lot of it to go around. And yes, we’re all guilty of spreading it from time to time, since we’ve all been stuck in if, suffering because of it, trapped by it.

And I KNOW I’m going to be guilty of oversimplifying things, but really, at the end of the day, isn’t being trapped by misery, succumbing to misery, really a choice? Even if it’s seemingly subconscious, most times when we sit and sigh and grumble and complain, it is because we fall victim to the easy and lazy approach of whining, instead of working on a change of perspective.

Because on one hand, there is a lot to be miserable about. I don’t know if I know a single person who doesn’t have a legit reason to be miserable, stressed, worried, unhappy. And I won’t attempt to compare or stack rank who has bigger issues, or more issues, but I’ll leave it as simple as – yes, we all have issues. Someday I’ll post about my opinion on the struggles of my generation and how life hasn’t quite turned out how we were told it would be if would just work hard, be loyal, and dream. Net pay is going down, the cost of things are going up, and most people I know, if they aren’t one paycheck away from being in a major situation, are two away. If they are getting a paycheck anyway. 

And I’m not going to sit here and attempt to say that we should wake up in the morning and sing, or fall asleep at night with a goofy grin on our faces. If we can sleep at all. But sometimes, when we start to go down the road of misery, it may be helpful to stop and think about what we’re saying and what we’re complaining about, and ask the following questions:  is complaining going to fix the issue? Or even make me feel better about it? And I know, yes, sometimes it does make us feel better. But how often? And for how long?

 

The biggest issue for me isn’t a single complaint, though, or one person suffering from misery, but the multiplicative properties of misery. Since we all do have things to complain about, since we all do have things we’re stressed about, it doesn’t take much time before one person’s single complaint starts off a 15-car chain reaction misery pile-up, blocking any chance of surviving the rest of the day unscathed. Most times, a complaint isn’t just a single complaint; it’s the beginning of a complaint-a-thon which leaves everyone feeling bad.

The reality is this…almost nothing is ever 100% good or 100% bad. I say “almost nothing” because I’ve learned to almost never say never or always.  Just about everything, depending on perspective, may seem better or worse than what you or someone else may think. It’s easier to take a stressor and fall victim to it, or to run into trouble and lash out.  It’s harder, definitely harder, to take a step back and ask if, by applying a different perspective, does an issue not look quite as bad as it could be? Or that maybe there’s an avenue of escape, or a hidden solution, or something constructive that can be done about it or with it? 

In the end, in my opinion, we all owe it to each other to collectively try to get through all of the things life throws at us, all of the hurdles and roadblocks and massive boulders that keep us from where we want to be and who we’d like to be. And we can’t do that if we’re bringing misery along as our co-pilot.